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Day 7 – The lion sleeps tonight.

Trek3000

We had a plan for today. Get up early, leave early, and get into the forest. Add a couple of ish’s in there and we were close enough.
We’d bought eggs and bacon the night before and so cooked a breakfast fit for hi-kings. This delayed us a little further but it was worth it.
Clement, Dawn and Avril were all around the breakfast table with us. It was like an ad for Kerrygold, but there was no horse going to France on this occasion. Dawn and Avril were driving up to the Cape and kindly offered to take our, what was supposed to be 5kg, box up to the dairy cum post office. This was great, the T-Amigos walked up the road into the sun that had already risen. Halfway down the road we got a beep, it was the two sisters carting our weighty contraband up to the…

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monkeyhorse4

We at Floptajoe.com don’t claim to be experts when it comes to the sport of kings, but on the back of four profitable Cheltenham festivals in a row, we decided to make our selections available to our adoring public.

The team have painstakingly trawled through hundreds of back-alley tipping sites, listened to the jockeys and stalked the trainers to bring you the best and most profitable tips for free!

As the Cheltenham festival progresses, we’ll keep you up to date with real-time tweets on @Floptajoe and will be updating this blog to keep track of how we’re doing.

We said Day Three would be different, it was worse again. It’s been one of those weeks where nothing is going right.

Here’s where the remaining pennies are going today!

DAY FOUR  – Friday, March 14th

1.30 – TRIUMPH HURDLE

  • Guitar Pete – E/W –  9/1 

2.05 – COUNTY HURDLE

  •  Upazo – E/W – 33/1

2.40 – ALBERT BARTLETT NOVICES’ HURDLE

  • King’s Palace – WIN – 3/1 

3.20 – CHELTENHAM GOLD CUP

  • Bob’s worth – WIN – 7/4 – Last Instalment is 10/1  if you’re looking for value!

4.00 – FOXHUNTERS’ CHASE

  • Bertie’s Dream – E/W – 16/1 

4.40 – MARTIN PIPE HANDICAP HURDLE

  • Vieux Lion Rouge – E/W – 15/2 

5.15 – GRAND ANNUAL HANDICAP CHASE

  • Ned Buntline – E/W – 7/1

***** Best of luck! *****

Check out our friends at BookieInsiders.co for even more tips!

Check out our friends at BookieInsiders.co for even more tips!

*Prices are correct at time of posting, as always, never bet more than you can afford to lose.

MonkeyHorse3

We at Floptajoe.com don’t claim to be experts when it comes to the sport of kings, but on the back of four profitable Cheltenham festivals in a row, we decided to make our selections available to our adoring public.

The team have painstakingly trawled through hundreds of back-alley tipping sites, listened to the jockeys and stalked the trainers to bring you the best and most profitable tips for free!

As the Cheltenham festival progresses, we’ll keep you up to date with real-time tweets on @Floptajoe and will be updating this blog to keep track of how we’re doing.

We said Day Two would be different, it was worse. Our only comfort is that no one else seems to be doing any better!

Maybe we should stop calling them ‘tips’ and refer to them as ‘suggestions’ but having said that, Thursday’s betting should improve things.

 

DAY THREE  – Thursday, March 13th

1.30 – JLT NOVICES CHASE

  • Wonderful Charm – E/W –  11/2 – Difficult to go against Felix Yonger, but we’re really confident in this horse at the business end of the race.

2.05 – PERTEMPS FINAL H’CAP HURDLE

  •  Uncle Jimmy – E/W – 20/1 – A lot of contenders here, Uncle Jimmy is a crazy price though and should be there or thereabouts.

2.40 – RYANAIR CHASE

  • Benefficient – E/W – 4/1 – Great horse and amid doubts about Dynaste, it has to be the obvious choice.

3.20 – WORLD HURDLE

  • Annie Power – WIN – 6/4 – Can’t look beyond this selection here. If you don’t fancy the short odds, take a look at Salubrious at 25/1.

4.00 – BYRNE GROUP PLATE

  • Tap Night – E/W – 12/1 – Cracking horse, strong contender.

4.40 – KIM MUIR HANDICAP CHASE

  • Causes As Causes – E/W – 7/1 – Narrowly beaten in last two races but looks to be showing some real form.

5.15 – CHARITY RACE

  • No idea here, won’t be backing this unless we have some serious winnings from the previous races. 

***** Watch out for Day Four coming soon. Best of luck! *****

Check out our friends at BookieInsiders.co for even more tips!

Check out our friends at BookieInsiders.co for even more tips!

*Prices are correct at time of posting, as always, never bet more than you can afford to lose.

horsemonkey-day2

We at Floptajoe.com don’t claim to be experts when it comes to the sport of kings, but on the back of four profitable Cheltenham festivals in a row, we decided to make our selections available to our adoring public.

The team have painstakingly trawled through hundreds of back-alley tipping sites, listened to the jockeys and stalked the trainers to bring you the best and most profitable tips for free!

As the Cheltenham festival progresses, we’ll keep you up to date with real-time tweets on @Floptajoe and will be updating this blog to keep track of how we’re doing.

It was a rough first day with only one win and two places to our name so far. Assuming you placed a significant amount on the Quevega sure thing (as I did), you should be breaking even and ready to reinvest again!

Day two will be different.

DAY TWO  – Wednesday, March 12th

1.30 – NEPTUNE NOVICES’ HURDLE

  • Red Sherlock – WIN –  4/1 – Temperamental horse with a great record. Short price so you may consider Shanahan’s Turn as a cheeky each-way option at 50/1.

2.05 – RSA CHASE

  •  Ballycasey – E/W – 5/1 – A Ruby ride here and should win.

2.40 – CORAL CUP HANDICAP HURDLE

  • Sadler’s Risk – E/W – 25/1 – Difficult race to call, of the shorter prices I would consider Bayan the one to beat at 10/1.

3.20 – QUEEN MOTHER CHAMPION CHASE

  • Captain Conan – E/W – 5/1 – Best bet of today, can’t see this losing. Kid Cassidy is an excellent each-way 11/1 option too.

4.00 – X COUNTRY HANDICAP CHASE

  • Big Shu – E/W – 5/1 – Consistency is the word here. Will be there come the end and has the experience to win it.

4.40 – FRED WINTER HANDICAP HURDLE

  • Violet Dancer – E/W – 20/1 – Bit of a lottery here, but this horse has been targeting this race for a long time.

5.15 – CHAMPION BUMPER

  • Our Kaempfer – E/W – 25/1 – Another long-odds punt, bit of luck and this horse could figure.

***** Watch out for Day Three coming soon. Best of luck! *****

Check out our friends at BookieInsiders.co for even more tips!

Check out our friends at BookieInsiders.co for even more tips!

*Prices are correct at time of posting, as always, never bet more than you can afford to lose.

horse1b

We at Floptajoe.com don’t claim to be experts when it comes to the sport of kings, but on the back of four profitable Cheltenham festivals in a row, we decided to make our selections available to our adoring public.

The team have painstakingly trawled through hundreds of back-alley tipping sites, listened to the jockeys and stalked the trainers to bring you the best and most profitable tips for free!

As the Cheltenham festival progresses, we’ll keep you up to date with real-time tweets on @Floptajoe and will be updating this blog to keep track of how we’re doing.

Enjoy the festival!

DAY ONE  – Tuesday, March 11th

1.30 – Supreme Novices’ Hurdle

  • Wicklow Brave – E/W –  13/2 – Favourites never win this race, and it is a large field. This highly rated horse will be in contention at the end and may be worth backing each-way at this price though his jumping is a concern.

2.05 – Arkle Chase

  •  Trifolium – WIN – 5/1 – Champagne Fever will be well backed on reputation alone. We stuck a few bob on Mozoltov antepost but hopes are slim at this stage as he’s no longer in this race! Trifolium looks a real prospect here.

2.40 – Baylis & Harding Handicap Chase

  • Time For Rupert – E/W – 25/1 – Always drawn towards Alfie Sherrin come festival time but Time For Rupert is great value here and has an excellent weight advantage.

3.20 – Champion Hurdle

  • Our Conor – WIN – 4/1Hurricane Fly is highly fancied as usual, but this is Our Conor‘s best opportunity to come out on top and who can forget his performance in the Triumph Hurdle last year?

4.00 – OLBG Mares’ Hurdle

  • Quevega – WIN – 4/6 – This doesn’t really qualify as a tip, so you may look for the each-way option here. We’re going for L’Unique at a tasty 25/1. Quevega will make history this year.

4.40 – National Hunt Chase

  • Suntiep – E/W – 8/1 – Can’t see any obvious winners in this group, but we like this horse and would expect a top 2/3 finish at least.

5.15 – Rewards4Racing Novices Handicap Chase

  • Festive Affair – E/W – 12/1 – Incredibly open field here, worth a small stakes punt.

***** Day 2 *****

Check out our friends at BookieInsiders.co for even more tips!

Check out our friends at BookieInsiders.co for even more tips!

*Prices are correct at time of posting, as always, never bet more than you can afford to lose.

Irish Hotel Signs

I’m reluctant to play into that Irish stereotype but as an Irishman, hard-hitting journalist and fan of incompetence, I thought I’d post this baffling piece of signage spotted in a Donegal hotel.

My sister sent these on to me following a short stay in An Chúirt in Gweedore.

Her room number was 225 and this was the first sign she encountered, which way would you go?

hotel2

The surprising answer is LEFT.

She encountered a similar problem shortly afterwards, bear in mind she’s still looking for 225!

hotel1

The answer is RIGHT.

Don’t worry, my sister found her room eventually and was only mildly inconvenienced. She probably had a lovely stay, I didn’t ask about that.

Was this worth posting? You decide!

HMVdog

HMV dog has been affected by the global downturn.

Watch this space for hints and tips in the run up to Cheltenham 2014.

UPDATED!

horse1b

Day 1 – Cheltenham 2014

————————-

We ended last year’s festival in profit – Check out last years results below:

Cheltenham 2013 – Day 1

MonkeyHorse

Cheltenham 2013 – Day 2

horsemonkey-day2

Cheltenham 2013 – Day 3

MonkeyHorse3

Cheltenham 2013 – Day 4

monkeyhorse4

Misread on The Guardian

The Guardian homepage is often confusing. Drop your guard for even a moment and you can end up associating a photo with the wrong headline.

Once you start doing this on purpose, you have a new puerile hobby!

Guardian

 

Below are a few I’ve collected so far:

 

katemoss

3dpasta
malepill

mandela

mars

nationalists

nymphoto

oldtraff

shianews

Lauren

Scottish

Are you interested in a new way to waste your time?

Catch the latest misread articles on Twitter @floptajoe  #MisreadOnGuardian

Floptajoe’s Top 10 Superhero Films

In case anyone was wondering…this list hasn’t changed.

No one was wondering.

@Floptajoe

MonkeyAvenger2

I realised recently that I’ve seen almost every superhero film ever created. Not unique by any means, but enough of a pretext for an indulgent SKY/E4 style countdown of things I like.

Why should anyone be interested in my opinion? No reason whatsoever.

The problem with superhero films is that the protagonist always survives and it’s a challenge to create any real tension. Bond and Die Hard films suffer from this also, so a stand-out film needs to either subvert the genre or  include a compelling human character and put them in mortal danger.

Looking to court controversy at every turn, I was disappointed to find my list was dominated by Batman films. None of them made No.1 spot though. Special mention for Watchmen which had excellent ideas used by other, better films.

The inclusion of two animated movies is the only real break from the obvious, beginning with:

10…

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Trek3000

Two novice hikers trekking 3000kms for the Irish Heart Foundation. Follow us and our ups & downs, as we get used to long distance hiking on New Zealands, Te Araroa.

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